Today

Today is the day I want to die.

This is for more reasons than I can begin to list.

The day wasn't that bad either. My boyfriend had sex with me for the first time in over a month, cooked me dinner.... and was playful with me.

I cheated on him last nite. I kissed my ex. I feel guilt, but probably not what I should. I realized so many things i want... that I will never have.

Every man I've been with has had one or two of those qualities... that I want.


I'm tired of things being ok for just a bit. Right now I'm still so angry about so much. I'm trying to let it go, so that the last day I'm around is enjoyable. Think it will work. I hope so.