Myspace

I like Myspace, its a good site... and from a friend of a friend, I met a new friend, AJ, I'll call him. He recently read some of my blog, and told me he hopes he just doesn't become initials in my blog. I hope for both of our sakes he doesn't either. Part of it, is that I don't like to use people's names without their permission, in case someone that knows me may know them, and its not any of their business what I write about, really.

Anyway, I really like him. I feel crazy about it. Its those intense feelings that always get me in trouble. Its the, fact that if/when we meet, and he feels the same about me... I jump right in. I know with him, I don't have to worry about the sexual aspect of it, which helps take pressure off.... But I'm still going crazy with these intense feelings I feel. They are the feelings that end up hurting me.

I wonder if he'll read this. I wonder what he'll say if he does read it if anything. It was nice. We've talked the last two nites, first nite for like 3 hours, and last nite.. probably a total of two... or so... And he's not a phone person.. or a talker... he says. We hardly had silence. There were two or three. One was when I said... " I really like you, AJ..." and he replied, after a brief pause, " I like you too." then there was that silence. I was like... "Duh, Julie, What did you say that... its most likely obvious that you like him."

I just don't know what to think. He lives far away... well, like 2 1/2 hours, and if we do get along.. I worry about the distance. It sucks. He doesn't like that either. He's made that clear. I feel like, part of me, should just not worry about it, and whatever happens happens.. but I don't want to be with someone I care about and feel lonely at the same time. I like to be able to spend time with the one that I am with.

I'm not sure what else to say about him... I think he's amazing though. Sweet, sensitive, intelligent, likes quite a few things I like.. and all over an interesting guy. He says he's a "good" boy, and for the most part he seems to be, but there is one thing that, may make some thing he's not.... but I still think he may be one of the few that are still "nice guys".

I love his voice. He acts like he really likes me, and I love it. I'm scared though, what if he likes me more than I like him. What if I like him alot, which I do, and he doesn't recipricate... What if someone else, sweeps him off his feet? He seems to meet girls that don't appreciate him, just like the men I meet.

I think, regardless whether this goes any further than friends, we can help each other, and be there for one another, as friends, so we know there is someone that really cares about us.