Life

Things suck.
Just as usual.
The meds make me a zombie for the most part. I can't think. I can't remember. In bed, I fall asleep and wake up without relizing it. I finally took a shower yesterday and went to a movie with my friend, I found a gummy vitamin in my hair. How does that happen?

I woke up once on my stomache with my cell under me. I wake up with my cell by my ear and noone there, briefly remembering a conversation with Chris. I thought Chris wanted to talk, and he calls me and asks me what did I want to talk about....

I'm like huh?

I'm confused and disorientated. I just want it to all stop. Luckily, I barely have energy to answer the phone... let alone do something suicidal.

Chris says he called my group. I think he's lying to me again. Otherwise he'd have more to say about it. I think he lies to me about alot of stuff.... although I do know he loves me and wants me to get well, but I doubt he's even trying to get his friends to understand. I'd rather have him drop me.... than loose his friends.

I'm not worth it. I gave up on myself and us a long time ago.

I'm going to go attempt a shower... I feel so weak.