Guilt

I sit here now, and feel guilty. Should I?
He's at Max's right now, waiting for her. Her. The Her that doesn't exist.
As soon as "CARESA" came alone, he ditched his plans with me, saying he had prior plans with his "buddies". Then I found out about her, he had some story for that too. Then he tells "CARESA" that he has Friday off, and tells me some stupid ass story. He tells "CARESA" that his friends got him drunk and he partied on both Wednesday & Friday, to kind of show off. Tells her, that he is free all day on Sunday. Also tells her, when talking about his job " work a lot, but getting time off isn't usually hard" It's like he's two different people. Everyone thinks I'm crazy, because I think he's a liar. I am crazy, for even involving myself with him.


He changed his passwords, and thinks I don't know who he writes to, or what about. He thinks I'm this crazy bitch. I would of married him like that, just liked that. Probably still would, if there were no more lies.

I don't understand why I keep meeting these guys that have problems just telling the truth. What did I do? Why do I have to sit here alone, crying. I'm a beautiful woman. All I want right now is to be held.

I want to meet a nice man, that tells me the truth. A man that will take me out to dinner, or make me something at home. One that knows I'm something precious, and will not hide anything from me.

I've been in a lot of relationships where I could care less about their email, or this or that..., but when you want to hide it, the more I want to see it.

I don't know how to get away from this, except, to get away from the internet again.