Life Sucks...

Then you die,hopefully, or get hit by a truck.

Not really, but I thought that sounded funny.

My life is chaotic. I told CG that I was pregnant last nite. DW and I got into another fight. He hung up on me, and wouldn't talk. I went for a drive, went shopping, and talked to CG for a few minutes. Got hit on at the stoplight on my drive, from some drunk guy, asking me to hang out with him. MB ( I think that's what I've been calling him)... called me back last nite, I wanted to talk to him about STD's and stuff. He professed he wanted to see me, but he's not lookin for a LTR, and is afraid he will become attached. He was sweet though and wanting to see me. I'm currently dating DW though, so that complicates things. Can't believe CG, actually called me back. He told me he didn't really have a gf, but that he did that because I would never let go. He told me he loved me and did care, but his life was too much of a mess and he was losing his job soon. I found out on his profile on myspace that he most likely lied to me about the gf, because there is a girl named Angela on there that said, " I love you, " & then... "I hope you and I are together forever, I love you boo" or something to that effect. He's a creep, I'm hating him and loving him at the same time, and it kills me. I've moved on, and I don't want him in any part of my life at this time.

I realized, my reasoning behind wanting to be with him, is my wanting to help him. We could help each other. I could help his financially, and with his children, and he could help me with my mental health issues, and my fiancial problems because we could share expenses. Things are easier when you have two people working towards the same goal. I want to be married. I want a husband. I want a family. I just need to realize it takes time, and the crackers I meet currently are not suitable husbands. I need a strong man to take care of me, but one that is not afraid to be taken care of himself.

And yet, T., I've still not heard from him. I'm sure now he's busy preparing with the band, they have a gig on Sunday. Wish I could go, but alas, I can't. I wish he would IM me or email me, he drives me nuts. I wonder about him alot. I could really use a friend right now.

Mostly cuz I need someone to talk to. My bf isn't much of a talker, and it sucks. I have Lisa, and she helps greatly, she makes sure I don't feel alone. I hope I help her with the same. My other co habitators are having some health and other problems, and its hard for me to deal with. I'm having financial problems, but finally getting my bankruptcy started. I have two traffic tickets, I'm paying on, and I'd like to slap myself in the head for. I can't pay my rent or afford the place I live. I have so much paperwork to do this weekend.

Well back to work.. its fun today... our systems are down...
WHOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!