I love him

I love him so much, I wish we could get thru this. I'm so upset about all this. He's upset too. I don't blame him. I hurt him, he hurt me. We hurt each other so much. I feel like he thinks I cheated on him. I didn't. I wouldn't. I love him. It hurts me so much.

How do we get thru this. Right now, even though I know I'm not even his girlfriend, I'm still upset. He keeps telling me this is my call, not his, but it is again his. That is one of the things i was getting frustrated about. He told me he has a house all picked out, and that again, frustrates me, because like the dog... I wasn't consulted. My opinion didn't seem to matter, even though he told me orginally he wanted me to help him pick out a place. But again this point is null, since we aren't together, and even if he can take the time to trust me, I'm not sure if I can trust him. We both are kind of stuck.

We were talking just a few minutes ago, and he got upset and hung up on me. That hurts me more. I want to talk about this. I feel like he just wants to ignore things for the most part. When he first called me, you wouldn't of thought anything was wrong at all. It bothers me.

He was more upset when he found out who it was that I was kissing. I feel like he thinks I'm a liar, but I'm not. I never said anything to make him believe it wasn't Travis. I'm sorry he feels I am. This whole thing kills me.

I'm doing my best to keep the thoughts out of my head. Its really hard.