Gosh...

I wanted to say God, but I use that word.. .way too much.
I never seem to blog here anymore.
I've been busy. I use myspace more, than I come here.
I'm a myspace addict

I met a new man. He seems great, cute, funny... u know, all that. I've been thru so much man drama lately, though. I hate it. We both seem to want the same things, only we are in no rush. If it is meant to be, it will be, and if I know he truely wants to be with me, I'll be fine with it.

I have so many trust issues though. Before we started dating, I logged into his account, on myspace so that I could do his page for him. ( it looks nice too, btw)... and I wrote the password down. I snooped and checked his email. I've done it a million times since. I wonder if he notices, he's not stupid, so he should. But, he never says anything. He says, if I feel guilty, then I should just stop doing it. I don't feel guilty anymore. I still wonder if it bothers him. I feel like even if I did something that bothered him, he wouldn't tell me.

He's so in love with me. I'm starting to fall for him, but this is so different for me. I'm scared. I'm tired of games, and stuff.

I mostly am nosy, cuz this girl, who, was on one of my ex's page, well i clicked on her page, and i saw CM. CM, has this big beautiful smile, it caught my eye, and so I emailed him. We started chatting and became friends.

Then I started dating, JW.. who lived in Florida, so it wasn't really a real relationship, but we really clicked, and I still care for him alot. He kept saying he wanted the same things as me, but it became obvious he wasn't ready, when he couldn't make plans to meet me. I wanted to meet as soon as we were able. He was ok with waiting till September. I want a real relationship. I want someone to touch.... And he was ok with us being long distance. This didn't fly with me.

So, somehow after me and JW decided to take a break, CM & I started talking on the phone. It was great, fun, enjoyable. We talked about meeting. I so wanted to just go down there the whole weekend, and spend time with him, but he was busy. That and I had a dinner plan with my aunt. Well I asked him, if I came down could I see him for a bit. He, I think, changed his plans to spend time with me. We were together like about 5 hours. Kissing, cuddling, holding each other, and talking. It was great. He was such a gentleman. I loved it.

So, I do have plans for the future. I hope CM and I stay together, and things work out, not being able to spend time together sucks, especially since he seems to work alot on the weekends.

Oh, about my plans, I hope by the end of the year I have a college picked out, and plans to move, I'm thinking I want to start back in the Spring, but I'm thinking of delaying it till next fall. Depends. I hate moving my daughter in the middle of the year. We will see. I need to get out on my own.

On another note. Grrrr.. Lisa was so right about Sprint. Second time in one month that i got my phone shut off. Pisses me off. I apparently talked to my bf, for 7 minutes too long, and it added five dollars for my 50 minutees, and well, that put me over my account spending limit of 125. Next month won't be so bad, but I have all those fees on there. This drives me crazy. Right now, I'm waiting for the payment to go thru.

I'm no so stressed today. I got some sleep last nite. About 2 hours before my bf came home, then we talked for a while and i got like 3 or 4 more. I need to start going to bed earlier. I don't want to give up our time.. though. I need to start limiting it though, because I'll become sleep deprived if I don't. I don't need any other stress in my life.

My friend D. got hired here. I'm excited for him, and for the bonus I'll get. He starts out at 26,000, plus shift dif, and commission. He will be working on the Car Insurance side. I wish I could refer all my friends. Most people I know, live a bit away, and don't want to drive. This is the first company, I've worked for that paid me what I feel like I'm worth for the skills that I have. One of his so called friends though, stated that I was using him, because I wanted him to get hired, so i could get the bonus. Sure thats great, but if I didn't like this company, I wouldn't refer him. Just in my dept, well, Its stressful because of the customer base that we work with. Its too emotional for me.

Well, I got to go enjoy my lunch, see if my phone works, etc.
Hopefully I will start writing here more, it diffinately helps my mood, and helps me destress. So much has been going on lately, its not funny. I'd write a whole nother book, just talking about the past two weeks of my life.

2 Weeks in the Life of Jae Ann.........

lmao