Got new tires today. Been up since 8 or so. Was at the garage most the day. Got my new tires, balanced.. etc, and a front end alignment, and and oil and filter change. Was only 400 something, so it was about what I expected. Just happy I don't have to worry about how much I'm driving now... mostly because I'm wanting to see CG. He wants to see me just as bad. We are like two young teens, both anxious and horny. Its more than that, but our sexual attraction is animal like. It's nice to find someone that satisfies my sexual needs as well as my emotional, and intellectual.
We keep talking about this whole, I'm not his gf thing. And I'm still not, the way he says it, is like because he doesn't want to "tie me down to anything" or he can't ask me "to be tied down". But its not like that. I don't feel tied down. I feel more secure. I'm so insecure about so many things. HE says.. "i'm not actively seeking out anyone.." and I say... "just because you aren't actively seeking anyone.. doesn't mean you won't run into anyone..." Then where does that leave me? Nowhere... I've wasted this time dating someone, who can't commit, because they are waiting for someone better to come along. Or someone with more this or more that, or that is more attractive. I know this isn't what he's saying to me, but this is what goes thru my head when he says that. I want to be his girlfriend, not just someone he is dating. Especially if are goin to continue with the sexual part. For me to be happy and enjoy sex, I need to know exactly where I stand. For me sex in a commited relationship is more sexually and emotionally satisfying. Sex to me is not just physical, its and emotional thing for me as well.
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