Doing ok

Everything seems to be going ok. Moods are still swinging. I felt really suicidal on Thursday, even went as far as writing a suicide note. The sad thing is, both my mother and grandmother told me to do it. The one thing that stopped me was the fact that my daughter, well my aunt and I don't have the papers drawn up for my aunt to take my daughter. In a month when she comes up, that will be done. I hope that I don't feel suicidal then. I have spent the weekend with M. and his friends, and that has kept me busy, it actually keeps my mind off all the stupid things in my life and is rather enjoyable. They are really fun. It is nice to spent time away, and not have to worry about Darian also. I was moving in with my mother, but she pretty much kicked me out already, so I'm going back with my gram. Its ok, I'll suivive, I just hope she doesn't give me too hard of a time about the whole M. thing, because I still want to spend time with him. I didn't want to spend time in the hospital, nor with my grandma or mom, I would of felt even more suicidal. I feel safe around him. It's nice to feel safe. I feel like I've known his friends forever and can kid and joke with them, just like they have been my friends forever.

I'm looking forward to seeing Shannon next weekend. :) I miss her so much. I have to get her present ready from Christmas time. We will see if I get that done. Will try to post more later, actually in the middle of a game with the boys..

:)