One whole day... I didn't talk to him. I really didn't think he'd answer when I called. I was trying to block my number but it wouldn't work on my cell phone. So I just called. He answered, he was at work, and he still answered. We talked for about 15 minutes, and he was sweet and confused as usual. He said he wanted to give me time. I wonder how long he would of waited if I didn't call. He's confused, he misses me, said he didn't want to ask, but that he wanted to see me. I want to see him as well. I wish that we could spend all the days of my vacation together next weekend. He says, he's not sure what plans he has with the kids and their mom on Monday.. I'm glad he finally told me that though.
I'm a little upset, because I want to see him. I'm more stressed because he wants to see me. He wants me to come down, although part of him is saying.. that I shouldn't. the longer this goes on, he says, the more its going to hurt, the more he's going to become attached. Part of me wishes he would. When he realizes how good I could be for him, that I'm the one he chooses. I know its wrong... but its still how I feel.
I want him to love me, to cherish me. I want to be his queen. I want us to help each other. I want to share myself with him. I want a family. I want love. I want hope.
I've so stressed I'm feeling sick today. Eating waaay more than I should. I am so sad at this moment, though things aren't going bad. I miss him.
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As told, by her, and her borderline personality...
1 comment:
OK, now I can say I have read this post! And I don't know what to say...I guess I only wish, as you do, that he would realize what a great person you are and how good you would be to him *and* for him. If only he would forget about stupid loser what's her name......=o) Wuv you!
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