Not sure where to start.

CG & I .. broke up.. well I walked out of the relationship. He apparently wants to be with his ex, because she needs him more.

Short story. They were in love. She's a heroine addict, and in jail for 15 months. She has noone but him. She lived with this guy that used her addiction against her, and she disappeared from CG's life two months before he met me. Now that she's in jail, she's gotten in touch with him. And he realized that he still is in love with her, and that she needs him more than me.

I told him.. .. or questioned myself as to what she had that I didn't have.. and I said the only thing she has that I don't is him. HE didn't disagree,and in fact said he couldn't make a decision. I knew what his decision was, but just wish he could tell me. I feel like he was playing games with me, even though I know he wasn't trying to.

Today I realized more than I'm upset because I'm not important enough to him to be part of his life. Is if I was looking outside this situation, and was just a friend, an unbiased friend. I'd look at him like he was crazy. He's dumping this girl that loves him, with all her heart and soul. A girl that has been nothing but good to him. A girl that is loyal and loving, and beautiful. A strong independant girl that loves public displays of affection. A girl that loves him for him, despite the bad things in his life. A girl that wants him to be happy, and only wishes that for him. I feel like, he doesn't love himself to better himself, and I feel that he feels that he doesn't deserve to be with someone like me. He himself said.. " you are the first women in my life that hasn't been a bad influence"

Oh well, Life goes on huh.. and I gotta get back to work.. so I'll finish my thoughts on this later.