Sadness

I've been feeling better overall, but today, things just got to me. I'm tired of waiting for everything. I feel so stuck. I have too much going on in my head. Too much to put on a list. Too much to deal with. I'm functioning, but would rather be in bed.

Today, after I got off the phone with the lady from the assistance office, I just started bawling my eyes out, and I'm still not sure why. Maybe just because I'm not sure what to do. I feel stuck, and just want move on with my life.

Plus now, I have concerns for Darian on my chest. She wants to see her dad this summer. He hasn't even called her since November. Its sad, and sick. What the fuck is his problem. Why did I even let her see him in the first place. Why does he have to be her father. Why does she love him? I feel like he doesn't even care about her. Why would he not call her? Why? This makes me cry. Everything I've done wrong with her, makes me cry.

The little girl only wants a room of her own. She's barely had it in her 8 years of life. I want to give her that, I want to give her a room of her own, for all her things, to make her feel special. I can't even do that.