Sunday, February 04, 2007

Those Thoughts...

Ever have thoughts that you don't know where they come from... or why you are having them, but think they are a result of a realization of wanting to push away.

I'm so confused at this moment. Why do I have these thoughts? Why are these certain things bothering me. Things I don't even want to bring to light. Things that I don't want to mention, because it seems so petty, but yet strange.

I knew the pushing away running away would come, but why does it have to? I don't even want to deal with these feelings right now. I don't want to deal with being in love.

Maybe its because Valentines Day is coming.... or maybe because of my birthday.... maybe because I'm missing him. Maybe because I'm being impatient. Maybe because I have concerns that I never seem to address. Concerns of the future.

Right now, I just want to cry....

I hate feeling so alone.

Alone, confused, and misdirected.

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