Life is never as simple as it seems. My life has never been simple. Do you ever get jealous of others and how they find things so simple. I find myself doing that, more than I ever thought I did. I know sometimes its not always an honest perception of others lives, but they seem so with it.
I have a wonderful man, who I love very much. I have a awesome daughter, who is my world. I want only the best for her. I want us to form a family, yet hesitate at the same time. Are me and Danny crazy for wanting this so soon. But are we? I don't think we are, but then sometimes I think we are. Then I wonder if I'm getting ahead of myself. Is he really on the same page with me, or is this my fantasy in my head taking over?
I don't want to get caught up in this, yet, I want to make plans for the future. Is this so wrong. I'm sitting here almost in tears, frozen in my tracks, as to what to do. I have so many decisions to make. So many things to worry about. Insurance, Dr's, medicine, therapy, my health, my career, my education, all my past bills, deciding what to do about my car situation. I'll be getting money from my income tax, that will help with all this, but how do I figure out what my priorities are?
I know right now, I just need a vacation. I want to be away from the stress of this house. I want to be with my man, even if its only for a minute. I want to feel his kiss, hold his hand, hear his heartbeat. I need it. I crave it.
I'm not depressed, but I'm not feeling well either. I just don't feel right anymore. I have a migraine right now, but that's not it either. I want to feel like myself again, regardless of if its the same as I was before.
I feel so alone at this moment. I know that this will pass though.
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