Crying

My mom actually wanted to talk to me last nite. I cried and cried. It hurt. I couldn't tell her everything I wanted to, but I started to. I couldn't help but question..... Is she drunk? I kept asking myself.....

She kept telling me how much she cared. I told her she didn't really show it. She kept saying she wanted me to get better, so I wonder what she thinks is going on with me. I told her I was getting better.

I just wish I really felt like I was getting better. Well sometimes I do, but sometimes, I feel twice as worse. I'm jealous of people that can cope. But I'll figure this stuff out, I just hope its before I destroy myself.