A new life, but not a new blog. Kind of partial to this one. I have started a new life recently, and also decided to write a book about my whole life. So what better than this blog to help organize my thoughts for my book. Part of my whole new life is shaving my head. I have shaved it three times. I went thru a phase where I wasnt growing or getting better like I planned but worse. Now I have come to realize so many things, and am letting my hair grow, and my life is growing with it. I am starting to heal. I have a long journal, and many paths and dead ends along the way.

I have been on alot of medications, and currently trying to get off. I want my mind to be clear. I have recently fallen in love. C, well I love him dearly, he has been a great support to me thru all this. We do have our ups and downs, but when I speak and chat with him, I am overjoyed with love and affectionate feelings. It feels good, to know someone loves me. JP has also helped me thru this. I write to him when I feel down. Most people don't think he is really a good person, but I know in his heart he is. He would give his life for his loved ones. He has led a troubled life like myself, only he never really had any LOVE or SUPPORT at all. I hope to go and see him soon. Sort of as a closure, to the love we had... because I am moving on with my life.

I have to move on soon, and make a place for myself, I am almost strong enough. I few more weeks or months, will tell. I will know, I will feel it in my heart when I am ready. Until then, I will just stay put. Hard, but tolerable.

I will end this tonite, mostly because I am tired and have a long day tommorrow. I am helping A help herself, which is a good thing. But it means I have to get up early. Blah, definately not a morning person.

More updates about my life in the last (almost year) tommorrow. :) Till then, I go to bed with a big smile on my face, because I know tommorrow will be a good day.