I dunno if that is what this even has to do with. I can't stop thinking of T. (OCD--well maybe) its not obsessive, just.. I wish we were sharing our lives together. I want him. The more I meet other creeps, the more I want him. The more I meet nice guys, the more I want him, T.... that is. Why? Why can't I move on? Our relationship really wasn't that long. So why is a piece of my heart missing? Why?
A relationship is about compromise right? So why did I have to say.. "OH, T. I don't think you can give me what I need." Why did he have to agree, and go with that.. for the basis of dumping me.
I want him to call me and tell me he hates me.. and to leave him alone.
He was talking with me about this girl thats his friend, that he was getting hot and heavy with... a month or so ago. I tried to talk and be nice... but it hurt. It hurt more when he told me... what made him happy.. lately.... the normal... then he said.. that she made him happy.
Why can't I just be normal. Why do I have so much drama? Why can't I make him happy... .. why doesn't he want to be with me? Why? I just want to understand, and it really kills me that he doesnt.
I love him, I thought he loved me... but.. love is never enough.. there are always other things that need to be faced... and I don't know why... it has to be this way.
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"I want him to call me and tell me he hates me..."
Nope, ...sorry ...can't do that.
Love,
T.
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