Cranky

Been cranky lately...
Major lack of sleep. I think I got 2 hours last nite.
I'm missing things I don't have. I'm missing what could have been.
I know I need to quite dwelling.. but.... I really hate my life.
I AM working on changing it though. Hopefully will start some classes soon..
Talked to a guy that gave me some encourageing information, about how to get my
foot in the door into an ARCH firm. It excites me. I need to work on being more...
Stubborn, and just lay down. I wish I could live without sleep. It's so unnecessary..
Plus.... sleeping alone sucks. I think that's what I've liked about the guys I've met lately. I've got a chance to be held while I sleep... and I love that. It makes me happy to have someone to wake up to in the morning.

I wish I could decide what I want. One moment, I think, I should just find people that are open to open relationships. Then next, I just want to get married... and be with one person. But, I know, in my heart, I'm better, healthier if I'm single. But it doesn't stop me from wanting my knight to come sweep me off my feet. I want romance.... I want love.. I want a family.