My Beloved

I still hold him close to my heart. He's in my thoughts, my dreams, and my hopes for the future. For a while, he honestly was an obssession. Now, I'm just glad he was and is in some part, part of my life. I do wish he'd realize how special he is to me. How much I love him, and how much... I always will. I wish he'd realize that its not about what he can do for me, its about what we can do for each other. I don't expect him to provide for me in any way, I only expect what I give. Love, understanding, support.... honesty...

My heart breaks, when I think of him. It hurts, it aches... and I want more than anything for us to be together. I have come to the realization, that things are the way they are for a reason (and more than just the reason, than he's a stubborn fool), and I'm ok with it. I'm doing things I like to do, and going out, and having a good time, and he and I are friends, and we talk on occasion. Yes. I do wish we talked more. I wish we could spend time together. Actually, I wish he'd just invite me down, and we could hang out or something, talk.. whatever...

Part of me thinks, maybe he's afraid to see me. NOt just becaues of the whole thing he mentioned before, about thinking that I'd want to jump his bones. DUH, I know I'm a horny bitch, but I can control myself, and do quite often.... Part of me thinks, he's afraid... of his own feelings...

But thats all you'll hear from me for now, I'm outta here, Work ends soon, and I won't be back on the internet until Sunday nite when I get home from visiting family.