Wow, I realize no wonder i have been feeling bad. I've yet to blog since Tuesday. I've been feeling really shitty the last 3 or 4 days. I should write more when I feel crappy. I think part of it is the meds, and part of it is just life. I start partial on Tuesday. I went last Wednesday also, that started all the emotional feelings. Right now I've been talking with C. so I just feel fantastic, but just a few hours ago I felt hopeless, and worthless.
Its weird how things can change in just a few minutes. I few days, a few weeks, a few months, a few years.... Things do change, and we have to adjust, I'm uncertain how to cope with my adjustments, and my stress. I'm hoping to learn new skills, to help me thru the uncertain times. I love C. so much, and yet.. I sometimes wonder, what the fuck am I doing? But then on the other hand, I feel such love and tenderness from him. I find him unbelieveable attractive.. I desire him so much. I feel the love just thru our chatting online, and I wonder, can this really be true. I can't wait to see him in the flesh.
I am hoping to see my brother tonite.. and if I don't get going I won't be able to do that.
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