The Day is Coming....

Been wanting to Blog for a while now... just haven't got around to it. Been too depressed, and too.. busy.. I suppose. Or maybe I just didn't really want people knowing what is going on with me.. This is my first post of the new year. Well, I have been pretty depressed, and right now, worrying so much, about the 13th. Tuesday, this is the day that we find out .. (at 4am EST) whether my fiance, C. gets his visa. If he doesn't, we have to have a plan B. I'm not sure I'm up for plan B right now. I know many of my friends and family are praying for us. I know I am hoping and praying too. It will be a big day for both of us, and emotional.. too... either way it goes... I'm sure.. I will need my many friends around.

I have to promise to myself.... I will not seclude myself that day...
I will try to avoid sharp items that could be used as weapons...
I will try to share my feelings..

As for my New Years Goals.. (life long goals, not resolutions)
I plan to lose weight.
My first step into that, is to cut out soda, and drink more water, and to start to exercise more. After I do that,
I plan to... exercise more, and watch my other sweets.. and eat healthier snacks. (carrots, celery, peanuts, instead of candy.. and whatnot)

Then... I hope to try and learn more about myself, which I have been doing this past year, but I want to go in depth more....

And.. I want to read and write more.. (even here).

Well.. anyway.. not much new. I've attended partial twice this week. Hasn't helped much, but it gets me out of the house and around people. Hoping to see the Dr R. tommorrow.. sort of.. I know he will want to push more meds. I HATE THEM. Went to see Dr. A. today, the allergist, pretty much a waste of my time, but I made my dental appointment, as it was in the same building. Dr. A. just looked in my ears, and in my nose.. and said.. lets get you an auditory test.. and i'll see you back in two weeks. The receptionist doesn't think my insurance covers the auditory test, so... they will let me know when i come back. They want to see if the singular (not sure the spelling) its an allergy medicine is working, and to give it two more weeks.. blah blah. I don't like Dr's much.

Any.. last nite was great.. stayed online all nite chatting with some nice people. It was nice to have the chance to spend time with some nice people. Its not often I get a chance to do that. Some people I meet always have other motives.

Also found out today that my daughter's aunt died. She was quite young.. not even near 40 I don't think. Her pacemaker died. She was a weird, but nice lady. I don't think it has quite hit me yet. I worry about her kids though. They are teens, but I know this will be hard on them.

Well, I'm off to read email, and then get some rest. :)