Not sure what to say.. or think or feel. Feeling really shitty. My blood pressure is up, and it never is. I almost panicked in the doctors office today. They said I had to see The Dr.. instead of Bonnie... I almost cried... Finally got in there, talked with Bonnie.. I did get to see her..I spoke up, and was, I don't feel comfortable speaking with the Dr.(he's a male) and I was going to talk about birth control.
I tried to wear long sleeves, but.. I have nothing clean so well, of course she saw my fresh cuts on my arms from last nite. She asked, I just tried not to cry. I hate my life. So much. All I've wanted to do for days and day is cry and cry.
Got in a big fight with C. last nite. About the fat joke... he told me " break up with me then" and so I did. I haven't cried about it. I just wonder what he thinks and feels. And what happens from here. I feel like it was a sudden thing... I really wasn't going to, although I had thought of it, I just got so upset and pissed off, I didn't know what to do.
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