Heading Home

Heading home in the morning,
Scared to death, but glad I'm going. I want to see my grandpa. He's not doing well, his arteries are 90% blocked, so they are doing a quadruple bypass in the morning. Everyone seems to be praying for my grandpa and my family. If only God would listen, now would be a good time. He doesn't seem to be though.

I'm confused about my feelings, I want my grandpa to live, and I'm sad & I don't know what I'll do if he dies. I don't know how to deal with it, and its a big selfish, being worried about my own sadness, when.. he could be dead.

I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. But alas I'm here at work, doing BRC's and luckily not talking to customers. I'd definately loose it today if I had to. Although BRC's get old too, it distracts me.. so my eyes are completely teared the whole time.