Well, waiting on the haircut, but I got "the" job. I'm so happy, so excited, I feel so good. I will be working with The Hartford. They own the contract for AARP. Its a call center. I felt comfortable when I was there. Nice building, nice location, nice people, all you could ask for, plus a great starting salary. Looking forward to my first day on Monday. In the meantime I will finish up this week at Giant.
Took Darian to the ER yesterday. They say she has scabies, but I think they are just incompetent. They barely looked at the rash. They hardly asked questions. Tommorrow she goes to the Dr. and hopefully they will be better, but somehow I doubt it. I will have "real" insurance before you know it, and get to go to a real Dr. I'd prefer somewhere away from my house, as I don't like this area. Guy at work today told me... "never go to St Joes" I wish I'd known that before, but when you look at the area.. I should've known.
Still feeling kind of sad today, worrying mostly. They will be doing a background check, and I wonder, if they have any problems with my credit. Its the worst. I need this job though to work on paying off my debts, and well.. still wanting to declare bankruptcy, on what I can. Thinking of all the things I have to do before winter, new tires, possibly get my car inspected (new exhaust system).. etc..etc. I definately need to get prepared early.
Missing T. like crazy. He's been busy the last few days. Not sure doing what... but I'll ask him today. It was nice, I got to tell him first. I immediately called his house, and he picked up from the machine.. so it was nice to hear his voice. He said he mite be going to NY this weekend, and if he does.. he can't come see me. I know its important to him, so I'm not pissed about it, but... I know I will go crazy.
I realized today... why it is.. I'm a bit uncomfortable in this area/ and with my daughters school. Its not really because white is the minority, which is different for me, its more the fact that I feel stupid. I am one of few whites here, and I can't speak spanish. I have no idea what is going on most the time, and just feel lost. I can't believe I didn't realize what it was before. I was feeling bad.. thinking... god.. what is my problem, why do you get such a weird feeling about this place.. and its not because of minorities.. or anything... just because I feel stupid. I feel lost.
I wonder where my life will go from here. I wonder what comes next. When will I be able to control these mood swings.. when will I be more happy than sad. I think I should go to bed, I'm exhausted. Not sure if I will though.
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
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