What a day...

Well, the other day, EPB, finally agreed it was ok for us to break up. I don't think I ever needed the guy to say it was ok, but... thats him. Well he found out my friend, was coming over, last nite, and he flipped out. He didn't know this "friend" was T., but he did end up finding out. He called me before 7:30 this morning, woke me up, and woke up the rest of the house, after I told him I didn't want to talk to him when he called on the cell. I am at wits end with him. I know I need to tell him the truth, but... I know how hurt he will be. I have to get him to leave me alone. I do care for him, I always will. Just there is something about him, that...I can't live with. The jealous, the obsessiveness... I can't handle it.

Had a wonderful time with T. It was like wow, and I couldn't believe I ever thought, things wouldn't work out. I'm amazed at what a wonderful time we had. Just kissing, talking... and holding each other. At points, things did get a little heavy, after him saying, that.. . He didn't want to have sex, and something about messing things up. I totally understood, but.. there were moments of such passion, where both of us almost lost it. It was so wonderful to be touched, to be held... and caressed... I had a smile from the time he finally arrived, until he left.. and I'm still smiling, because I can't stop thinking about him. He didn't want to leave, and of course I didn't want him to either... He left way later than he has orginally wanted to, but we had a great time. He shared with me so many things, I was most surprised to hear, basically my words of what I wanted and was looking for, coming out of his mouth. "I want a friend, a best friend, a lover, a partner... someone to settle down with, someone I know loves me, someone that needs me as much as I need them." It was so wonderful to hear the same things... He really wowed me. It was so perfect. I shared with him so many things, he knows so much about me... and he still wants to stick around. It does so amaze me. Watching him watch Darian was amazing also. When we went to lunch, she wanted to hold his hand and not mine. She was excited.

Not sure what to say, but.. he told me wants me and I want him. I feel so happy inside. Being around him, makes me remember the happy times in my life. Its wonderful.