Driving 90 on the Freeway....

I started writing a poem, and of course blogger fucked up, and here I am to write it again..
It was a poem about my random suicidal thoughts I get while I'm driving, it sort of went along the rap rhymes from Eminem... but... with my own random thoughts...

Doesn't matter now, I can't think of all the words now,

But.. as I drive home some nites, going 90, or sometimes faster, I wonder... would it look like an accident? would it be an accident, could I die? Would I die?

Almost perfect, dying do something I love, without it looking like a suicide... but then I'm posting these thoughts, so the people that read this would know. ..

Thing is... I think about the insurance policy I have, and I have to get the details.. I've already fucked up my daughters life enough, least I can do.. is make sure she gets some money.. for the hell I put her thru.

Thing is.. I'm not really suicidal.. right now.. just feeling lonely, abandoned and betrayed again. But I allowed things to be this way...

You only get what you tolerate...

I truely believe that... so why do I tolerate people? Why do I allow them in my life, only for them to hurt me....

One day, I will find someone who loves me, and can tolerate my faults, and my bitter sweet honesty.. they will be as open as I am... they will love me for me... and would go thru the bittersweet depths of hell, to make me happy. Just as I would do for them.