Another day....

I wanted to post today, because I wrote to someone in my support group (The Limbic), and I wrote to him, because his letter touched me. I won't share that here, but the basis of his letter was, that he wanted to get back with his ex gf, who was BPD. From my understanding they had been together for a while. Since they broke up, he joined support groups and read all the books he could. He's courageous in my eyes.

Here is the letter I replied to him:

HI S.,
Your letter touched me, and I also saw that you were looking for responses, so I thought I would respond. I just want you to know, everything I say, is in response to what I deal with in my life being BPD. I recently started dating someone I was friends with a while, that knew what I was like, and that things wouldn't be easy. I feel like I'm tortureing him and he was mad at me, and I haven't talked to him in four days, which isn't normal.
Being with him has brought me alot of happiness, but also, runs rampant on my emotions, I can't stand being in a relationship, because I turn into this other person, this person, that is insecure, and untrusting, and unsure of myself.
I do want to say that I'm glad you joined support groups, and read all the books, because they will help you to understand, help you to deal with daily life, and how to help her deal with her problem. Everytime I mention BPD to my bf, he doesn't say anything about it... and that bothers me. I want to get better, but I can't do it on my own.
My opinion on most therapist and doctors... they dont know what they are talking about. YOu aren't just "cured" of BPD.. nor does it just go away.. (from my understanding)
I don't know about her, but when I'm upset, I just need someone to be there, that someone in my life is my bf, I just need to know he's around, and that he cares, and that he loves me.. and it makes things so much better.
Try not to think of it as a waste of time, if nothing, you will learn more about life, and BPD, and about ur self in the process. I won't be easy, as you well know, but if you truely love each other, and want it to work, it will.
I hope at least one thing I've talked about you understand, I'm not in the best right now, to even be writing this, but I wanted to let you know that I will be thinking of the two of you, and that I wish you the best. If you want to talk more, in private or otherwise, email me at joulesofaffection@rocketmail.com (and that goes for anyone that wants to email me) or IM me on yahoo- joulesofaffection or AOL-joulessaffection or MSN-makelovenotpeace@hotmail.com
Have a great day!!
Julie