A Random, well not so random, previous thought

Before I talked with T. I had this in my mind, and I still do, though, not sure how to apply it to my life and wanting to be with T.

I always thought about the man that I would end up with, the man that showed me respect forever, because of his love and commitment. I always had this thought, since I was diagnosed with HPV over 6 years ago, that the man that will.. if you say "prove" himself to me, well he would, offer to go with me and get tested before we even had a sexual relationship. Trust is a two way street. Sure, I am honest, and say.. (before I'm in a sexual relationship-- I try to bring it up, when sex comes up, so they can decide--as soon as possible) I was diagnosed with HPV (fill in the blank-- 6 years ago now). I was treated, and haven't had any symptoms for over 5 years. My paps have come back normal, but.. back when I was diagnosed.. it was thought that once you have the virus, you always have it. Now new studies are showing that, sometimes your body fights it off. There is no standard test, that (almost any) doctor will do, to test for HPV. Its too expensive, and as far as I know (and have read) you can't get it.. So .. back to my thought. The man, that would if we want to use the word "prove" himself.. would go get tested with me.. (and would offer).. before we had sex.. then we would still wait.. 6 months ( I know.. a long time--) and get tested again, and get the results before we had sexual relations. (blah I sound like my first doctor "relations")

But.. anyway.... that was what I wanted, since I found out.. about it. I don't always trust the.. "I've been tested" line guys give ya. 1. The men can't even tell you what they were tested for.. "ohhhh.. just everything" 2. Doctors/clinics don't test for everything, especially.. HPV Plus... HIV is a separate test, that you have sign a form about. It just makes me feel safer.. because.. well with T. Since I was upset for the last week, I really had random thoughts about him sleeping with someone else, or messing around with someone else, and getting something and giving it back to me. I was really upset about it. Until the other nite when we talked. When we talked it reassured me, that he did love me, and care for me... and that he would never cheat on me. It made me feel better