More stuff, about the relationship....

So here goes again. We talked last nite. See the "stuff" here. I feel better, and am not as confused, but I think he has issues too.
Let me know ur opinion!!





I say: (9:09:04 AM): Do you want to be with someone else?
He says: _ (9:39:37 PM): No...
I say: (9:39:44 PM): to my ? from earlier
He says: _ (9:39:52 PM): yes
I say: (9:40:07 PM): ok.
I say: (9:40:21 PM): Oh.. and I just wanted to tell you, so you know.. exactly for sure.. i'm not pregnant
He says: _ (9:40:33 PM): that sucks
He says: _ (9:40:36 PM): sorta
I say: (9:40:41 PM): why does that suck
I say: (9:41:45 PM): ???
He says: _ (9:41:58 PM): why do you think
I say: (9:42:08 PM): cuz you want me to be pregnant
I say: (9:42:17 PM): I'm telling u.. i would of seriously killed myself..
I say: (9:42:23 PM): so you'd never of had a chance to be a father
I say: (9:42:29 PM): at least not with me
He says: _ (9:42:43 PM): be mean ...and I'm leaving
I say: (9:42:51 PM): what is ur problem
I say: (9:42:54 PM): I'm being honest
I say: (9:43:23 PM): I dont know why you won't make any kind of commitment with me... but would if i was pregnant
He says: _ (9:43:28 PM): I already told you that we'd be together if you get pregnant
He says: _ (9:43:42 PM): so you saying that is just being mean
He says: _ (9:43:53 PM): if you're gonna be mean I'm gonna sign off
He says: _ (9:43:57 PM):
I say: (9:44:05 PM): thats your choice just like everything else.
I say: (9:44:44 PM): who says i'd want to be with you, if i was pregnant... I just want to understand Tony... I just want to understand.. I wish you would get mad at me.. and tell me how much you hate me.. cuz I can't handle this..
I say: (9:45:05 PM): lets just change the sub.. ok?
I say: (9:45:07 PM): how was ur day
I say: (9:45:10 PM): you are home early
He says: _ (9:45:11 PM): boring
He says: _ (9:45:18 PM): I hate my job
He says: _ (9:45:22 PM): job even
I say: (9:45:25 PM): I know you do.
I say: (9:45:33 PM): that sucks.
He says: _ (9:46:02 PM): I dont hate really...its just I had a clear career path before, and it seems to have dead ended
I say: (9:46:13 PM): what do you mean?
I say: (9:47:00 PM): what is it you are looking for in your career?
He says: _ (9:47:11 PM): every goal I've set out to do at AQ..I achieved.
He says: _ (9:47:25 PM): I feel like I'm fresh out of targets
I say: (9:47:44 PM): find something new
I say: (9:47:58 PM): I wanted to tell you something.. i was thinking of today..
He says: _ (9:48:38 PM): ok
He says: _ (9:48:46 PM): actually hold that thought
I say: (9:48:51 PM): you said something about.. you said if you ever became.. a father, you'd give up the band.. and i just wanted to tell you, that when you become a father, I don't think you should, because I think, at some level you would regret it, and maybe even resent your wife/the mother of your child/ and maybe your child
I say: (9:48:55 PM): i already had it typed
He says: _ (9:51:21 PM): im back
I say: (9:51:36 PM): ok. did you read what I wrote?
He says: _ (9:51:40 PM): yep
He says: _ (9:51:52 PM): here's the thing....
He says: _ (9:51:54 PM): truth ok
He says: _ (9:52:08 PM): am addicted to being in a band
I say: (9:52:26 PM): ok.
He says: _ (9:52:32 PM): I've tried to leave many times, ok twice, and something always brings me back
I say: (9:52:32 PM): whats wrong with that?
I say: (9:52:38 PM): something like ?
He says: _ (9:52:50 PM): nothing...except its kinda of a dead end lifestyle
I say: (9:53:08 PM): hmm..
He says: _ (9:53:28 PM): bands get screwed and they always will...except for the few who "win the lottery" and rise to the top.
I say: (9:53:43 PM): yeah... but you like it don't you?
He says: _ (9:53:47 PM): I tried to do the smartest way I can
I say: (9:53:59 PM): you said.. it give you a way to vent your darkness.. or something like that..
I say: (9:54:00 PM): meaning?
He says: _ (9:54:01 PM): being in a band is fun
He says: _ (9:54:10 PM): be can also be pointless
I say: (9:54:17 PM): lots of things are pointless, hun.
He says: _ (9:54:29 PM): we have lofty goals that you'll never achieve
I say: (9:54:39 PM): like?
He says: _ (9:54:57 PM): anyway I've convinced myself that ...if I every become a father...I'd give it up
He says: _ (9:55:14 PM): and I think on some deep level I want that to happen
He says: _ (9:55:41 PM): I live this 19 year old lifestyle and I'm 36....
I say: (9:55:44 PM): sorry I couldnt give you that
He says: _ (9:55:58 PM): it getting harder and harder to validate myself so to speak
I say: (9:56:26 PM): the more we talk.. the more I don't understand your reasoning..
I say: (9:56:31 PM): on our relationship
I say: (9:57:25 PM): you dont have to say anything.. nor do we have to really talk about this right nwo
I say: (9:57:26 PM): now
He says: _ (9:58:02 PM): Maybe I partially wanted you to get pregnant...to help me escape my life
I say: (9:58:08 PM): thats not good though
He says: _ (9:58:12 PM): that and the kid would be gorgeous
I say: (9:58:15 PM): you have yahoo on .. or trillian?
I say: (9:58:22 PM): our kids would be gorgeous
He says: _ (9:58:23 PM): yahoo
I say: (9:58:27 PM): i got my cam on
I say: (9:58:30 PM): if you want to see
He says: _ (9:58:30 PM): i know
He says: _ (9:58:36 PM): thats ok
He says: _ (9:58:41 PM): thanks tho
I say: (9:58:42 PM): just thought i'd offer
I say: (9:58:47 PM): I really miss you
I say: (9:59:07 PM): i'm so tired today
I say: (9:59:13 PM): i had a bad day at work
He says: _ (9:59:15 PM): you know...technically..I havent gone anywhere
I say: (9:59:26 PM): i'm surprised to see you tonite..
I say: (9:59:36 PM): i know you are still here, but you're not my bf anymore
He says: _ (9:59:56 PM): (sniffles slightly)
I say: (10:00:08 PM):
I say: (10:00:18 PM):
I say: (10:00:29 PM): I broke down at work.. cuz.. they were talking about suicide calls
I say: (10:00:36 PM): and some people were really.. insensitive
He says: _ (10:00:43 PM): they get those?
I say: (10:01:01 PM): then.. Dale.. our trainer.. went on to say.. that.. this girl in Fort washington.. got a call and the lady commited suicide.. while she was on the phone
I say: (10:01:07 PM): i lost it.. ran out of the room.. bawling..
I say: (10:01:12 PM): yeah.. we get those
I say: (10:01:19 PM): you guys ever get any?
He says: _ (10:01:27 PM): are you ok?
He says: _ (10:01:33 PM): no never
I say: (10:01:47 PM): still upset about it.. but only cuz.. i wasnt expecting it out of our class, we have such nice people...
He says: _ (10:01:49 PM): I mean people joke...but they're not serious
I say: (10:02:00 PM): but.. its just.. cuz it hits too close to home..
I say: (10:02:10 PM): i know.. but.. at this point in my life.. .. I can't joke about it
I say: (10:02:19 PM): I seriously could of died...
I say: (10:02:22 PM): almost 2 months ago
He says: _ (10:02:33 PM): i Know ....
He says: _ (10:02:34 PM): brb
I say: (10:02:48 PM): ok
He says: _ (10:06:59 PM): sorry about that...coooking diiner
I say: (10:07:40 PM): cool. whatcha cooking?
I say: (10:07:42 PM): I'm cold!!!!!!!!!
I say: (10:07:58 PM): Sally made lasagne.. yesterday for me when i was in West Chester
He says: _ (10:08:37 PM): tortellini
I say: (10:08:39 PM): Everyone thinks they should set me up already!! GRRR
I say: (10:09:02 PM): Did you see my new pics?
He says: _ (10:09:37 PM): no
I say: (10:09:47 PM): I sent the link
He says: _ (10:09:50 PM): you mean in your profile
I say: (10:09:55 PM): on yahoo photos. yeah
I say: (10:10:00 PM): that i took last nite. before we talked
I say: (10:11:23 PM): I think i'm a jinx
I say: (10:11:27 PM): everything i touch keeps breaking
I say: (10:13:22 PM): HELP
He says: _ (10:13:38 PM): e-yes
He says: _ (10:13:48 PM): brb
I say: (10:13:50 PM): i killed my computer last week
I say: (10:13:53 PM): well it works, but not right..
I say: (10:13:58 PM): i broke my cd player today
I say: (10:14:00 PM): and now my cell
I say: (10:14:02 PM): I want to cry
I say: (10:21:30 PM): hows dinner coming?
He says: _ (10:23:49 PM): done
He says: _ (10:23:55 PM): and not bad
I say: (10:24:02 PM): cool.. wow. you can cook??
He says: _ (10:24:08 PM): no....
He says: _ (10:24:10 PM): I can biol
He says: _ (10:24:14 PM): boil
I say: (10:24:19 PM): hehe. i'm just teasing
I say: (10:24:23 PM): my cell is.. fucked up
I say: (10:26:00 PM): my friend Mike is too much..
I say: (10:26:11 PM): he just fixed my cell
I say: (10:26:17 PM): now.. i just need my puter fixed
I say: (10:29:05 PM): u still busy over there
He says: _ (10:29:13 PM): no...I'm here
He says: _ (10:29:27 PM): just reading email...and eating
He says: _ (10:29:41 PM): hey...
I say: (10:29:43 PM): oh ok..
I say: (10:29:46 PM): yeah?
I say: (10:29:55 PM): i can't belive Mike fixed my cell..
I say: (10:29:59 PM): i almost flipped out
I say: (10:30:01 PM):
He says: _ (10:30:19 PM): do you know where I can find a picture of a naked female robot with with her innards falling out
I say: (10:30:34 PM): how would i know that? look it up..
He says: _ (10:30:51 PM): kinda like those 80 horror flicks where the guts are hanging ot, but a robot's
I say: (10:31:02 PM): um. why ou look for that
He says: _ (10:31:13 PM): I did...no dice
I say: (10:31:26 PM): um.. so what makes you think i can find it?
He says: _ (10:32:31 PM): just wondering if you maybe came across anything like that
I say: (10:32:42 PM): um. yeah every day.. hun..
I say: (10:32:47 PM): nah. but i'll keep my eye out
I say: (10:32:50 PM): what areyou looking for it for
He says: _ (10:33:15 PM): our new demo MIGHT be called..."Bathe in the Gore"
He says: _ (10:33:40 PM): and since we're an industrial who likes horror fflicks it seemed fitting
I say: (10:33:52 PM): yeah. that is cool
I say: (10:33:56 PM): so how you doing?
He says: _ (10:34:13 PM): well....I'm fed....
I say: (10:34:26 PM): i was going to make a joke. i'm such a perv
He says: _ (10:34:32 PM): and I'm broke....but I'm breathing...so i guess ok
I say: (10:34:48 PM): I mean.. other than that
He says: _ (10:35:17 PM): what do you mean
I say: (10:35:40 PM): just overall. how you were doing..
I say: (10:35:51 PM): I felt so bad on friday.. after you had such a bad day
He says: _ (10:36:18 PM): a little sad...but I try to keep hope
I say: (10:37:01 PM): I'll never understand you, but I"ll always love you
I say: (10:37:41 PM): one more thing i want to clarify..
I say: (10:37:53 PM): what does us.. being friends.. mean to you
He says: _ (10:37:56 PM): thanks...same
He says: _ (10:38:56 PM): we live separately in parallel, as opposed to parallel yet separately
I say: (10:39:17 PM): i dont understand what you mean.. can you tell me in english
I say: (10:39:23 PM): this is funny.. http://www.cyberium.net/imagine/
He says: _ (10:39:26 PM): we live separately yet parallel, as opposed to parallel yet separately,,,,
He says: _ (10:39:27 PM): sorry
I say: (10:40:16 PM): you just said almost the same thing..
He says: _ (10:40:24 PM): think about it
He says: _ (10:40:29 PM): and what this site
I say: (10:40:33 PM): I guess i'm not asking the right question
I say: (10:40:39 PM): i dunno.. someting i came across
I say: (10:40:45 PM): there is a face. and four faces on the side
I say: (10:40:55 PM): if you. . put the mouse. on the faces.. it looks funny
I say: (10:40:58 PM): made me laugh
He says: _ (10:41:56 PM): heh ehe that is pretty funny
I say: (10:42:12 PM): didnt know if you'd like it...but i thought the boobs were funny
I say: (10:42:17 PM): i was looking for robots
I say: (10:44:15 PM): still watching me?
He says: _ (10:44:52 PM): no
He says: _ (10:44:54 PM): sorry
I say: (12:00:50 AM): I just dont understand how.. if i can be ok .. with how things are.. right now.. (well before.. ) why can't you
He _says: (12:01:52 AM): I dunno
He _says: (12:02:02 AM): listen I should go
I say: (12:02:43 AM): Okie.. talk again soon?
I say: (12:02:47 AM): sweet dreams... hun.
I say: (12:02:53 AM): Have a good day tommorrow..
He _says: (12:03:01 AM): you too...sleep weel
I say: (12:03:06 AM): and if you ever want to talk on the phone. you can call too.. you know?
I say: (12:03:12 AM): I'll still be here when you need me
I say: (12:03:22 AM): I did enjoy your company tonite
He _says: (12:03:43 AM): me too..on both
I say: (12:03:57 AM): ok.. love you