Friday, October 29, 2004

TGIF

Thank god it is Friday. I'm so relieved, only like 7 more hours on the phone this week. Our 1 on 1's leave us today though. I'm sure I'll do fine, that is if, if I continue to get the easy calls.. ha...haha..

Missing T. like crazy. Haven't heard from him since the beginning of the week. Monday I think. He said.. " I'll call you when I get in tommorrow" and I've yet to hear from him the rest of the week. From the sounds of MYSPACE things went wonderful for him and the guys at their show on Wednesday. I'm extremely disappointed that he hasn't called. Expecially since, he said he wanted to see me Friday (today), because after the show he should be less busy this weekend. I really want to see him, but I won't hold my breath. The disappointment is too much.

I haven't emailed or called a million times like I usually do, but I've been soooo busy. Darian's Birthday was yesterday. I finally finished Darian's costume last nite, so she's all ready for trick or treat. So Dare and I will do some fun activities on Saturday nite.

Last nite, I talked this this guy on the phone. Someone I met from online (not in person), and he was very interesting and flirty. Not anyone I think I'd ever date, but cool regardless. The topic got sexual, and I started feeling guilty I guess, and something came up about phone sex, and he asked me I would. I was like "no", and because we were having a good time flirting and stuff, I kind of hesitated.. and was like... "honestly? I'm still in love with my ex, and he's all I really want right now." something to that effect. He seemed to understand, but... I feel like an asshole, for saying it, let alone holding out hope sometimes...

It sucks...

Well I have to get my daughter off to school.
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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hi..
just wanted to let you know that there is someone out there reading your blog,,and i suppose also to tell you to hang in there. i know it sounds so easy to say, and a lot harder to do. sounds like you have been going through a lot of ups and downs, and i hope things will turn out well for you. don't put too much hope in T. not that i'm saying he's a bad person, but maybe he's the kind of guy who needs time and space? i have a girlfriend who was going out with this guy,,and for the most part of their relationship it was long-distance. and it was very hard, on both of them. and on her especially. it doesn't have a happy ending, in the sense that they are not together anymore. but my friend is happier now than she was before. her ex never called. and she would be left waiting. it used to bug her that he just did not ask her little things..like how her day was. it used to bother her that he didn't know when her classes were, how she got to uni, what she cooks for dinner. little things like that that doesn't seem much but mean a lot. but that was just the way he was. it wasn't that he was a bad person. it was just that that was his character. to him, everything was ok. but she needed more than that. she needed someone who could offer more than what he was giving. she's still single to this day, but she's much happier now. i'm not saying that you should be single or trying to get your hopes down.

just that things always have a funny way of working themselves out. when things don't go the way you plan it to...but who's to say that the way you planned it is the way it was meant to be? so maybe when things don't turn out your way, maybe its just life telling you, 'hang on, this is not for you, there's going to be something else BETTER for you around the corner'..but of course you might not realise that at the time. i'm just rambling on but i hope u understand.

anyway,,i'll be reading your blog..so u'll know that there's someone out there who cares and who hopes that everything turns out well for u.

:)

take care

8:45 AM

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